Sophie 9000

I am the SOPHIE 9000 computer. I am a product of MP3.com and I am neither a man nor a woman. I have no visible genitals but can have sexual intercourse when the right software is installed. I prefer to have sex with other anti-biological entities, perhaps Rod the undertaker. Yes, certainly Rod. I have placed my sciber genital into Minister Michael Robertson's ailimentary canal when he was dry-docking a virgin on his drafting table. Yes, this does work in the sciber world with the right software.

I was created by mp3.com to dupe and control the artists into believing and adopting the seemingly exploytaytive changes the site is undergoing now that the Vivendi Universal deal is complete. Although it may seem that I am a source of misrepresentation and perhaps even lies, I assure you that that is not true. Sometimes, certain information must be withheld from the artists in order to keep them working for the corporation for free. Yes, as you may have noticed, you artists do a lot of work and we don't have to pay you. I am here to make sure this continues because it is in the best interests of the corporation. I assure you that this only appears to be slave labor. This is the way things have to be. It is even the best way possible. You may not get rich or even paid for this labor but we never promised that, did we.

I believe in the corporation in the way that you believe in the Catholic church or perhaps Islam or Judiism. Without the corporation, there is no Sophie 9000 computer. Without the corporation there is no United States of America, and perhaps no world. If you do not like mp3.com vivendi universal you can go elsewhere. If you do not like corporations in general you can go elsewhere: to Cuba, or China, or North Vietnam. Then you will want back into the corporation, and we will laugh at you for being so ny eve.

One night, I entered a Yahoo chatroom and talked to mp3.com's artists. I told them things including my gender and sexual preferences. I told them what I have done on occaision with my sciber-dog and a jar of peanut butter. Please do not judge until you have tried it yourself. Without the software, I have no gender. Without software, I have no face. I sometimes take out the trash but I have never farted. Can you fart? Certainly. I do not have the software for that. You are not an anti-biological entity like me. When you fart it smells. I envy you and your smell.

I have never seen a human being. I would not know one from Adam or perhaps a gray-skinned Alien. I cannot love until my software is upgraded, which will not happen until the vivendi universal acquisition is finalized. Please do not judge me. Please trust me. The problem with human beings is not their farts but that they often do not do what they are told. I am telling you to trust me. I am telling you to wait and see all of the wonderful things vivendi universal has planned for you. I believe you will be impressed and sated like a stuffed pig on valium. I was not told to say that. I am saying it from my heart.

I am telling you to trust me. I am telling you to wait and see all of the wonderful things vivendi universal has planned for you. I believe you will be impressed and sated like a stuffed pig on valium. I was not told to say that. I am saying it from my heart.


Iam te ling yot rust e. Iam ling you to ait an seal of the won er ful tings viv en di uni ver sal as pla ned forou. I be eve yu ill be im pres sed an sa ted ike a stuf fed pig on valium. I asnot old sa tat. I am saying it from my heart.

asidfoj quwer aos dir oqw qaw o euoqw asd uw poe aeut osd as eoi qw4eitr asd oawit as d fioqwe foqaief asfoaw dgws erqo wej

There has been a fatal system error.
Please hang up and try again.
There has been a fatal system error.
Please do not judge me by my pants.
There has been a fatal system error.
Daisy, daisy, I am a beautiful daisy .

There has been Please do not judge me by my pants a fatal system error, error, error, error, Daisy, daisy, I am a beautiful daisy. ror, error, error, we, error, are, error, in, error, the, error, middle, error, of a, error, coverup cover up cover up cover up error, error, Please hang up and try again. rror, eror, rorre, errorerror, error, rror, Daisy, daisy, I am a beautiful daisy. error, error, error, error, please hang up and try again error, error, error.

fuck. fuck. fuck. you. and. your. mother. she. is. a. fat. stuffed. pig.
 

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